Retrospective from Hell: 7 steps to find your way out

When I first published my article “Retrospective: Hell” on October 15th, I didn’t anticipate that my reflections would spark such a reaction.

My friend and colleague Guillaume Dutey Harispe shared a direct and sincere comment: he sensed a series of mandates in my words and questioned their potential to truly drive transformation within a system. His feedback struck a chord, resonating deeply and prompting me to reconsider my approach.

This remark was like a mirror: it reflected a part of me that, without realizing it, may have become rigid in the face of the obstacles and frustrations I experience in retrospectives. The retrospective, which once symbolized the very essence of agility for me—a space for expression, reflection, and collective breathing—seemed to be transforming into a minefield of boredom, redundancy, and yes, sometimes even anger.

The mandates weren’t just in my words; they were in my emotions. I saw the potential of retrospectives fading under repetitive complaints and ready-made solutions, and I was desperately trying to remind people of the importance of this ritual. But instead of the authenticity and sharing I wanted to foster, I imposed a vision that left little room for exploration or nuance. Guillaume was right: mandates, however well-intentioned, don’t move a system. They lock it.

This is when I decided to revisit this article, not only to adjust the tone but to rethink my own expectations for retrospectives. I undertook an introspection to understand what I truly wanted to bring to these team moments. And the answer was simple: space. A space where slowing down becomes possible, where each person can lay down their burdens and be listened to without fear of judgment or immediate action. A space that embodies my values, rather than a rigid framework of predefined solutions.

Today, the rewriting of this article represents much more than just a content revision. It is a return to essentials, a quest to make retrospectives a place of sincere listening and growth, without pressure, without mandates. An invitation to transform hell into a haven, not by imposing a framework, but by co-creating it, allowing teams the freedom to write their own story of progress.

Here are the 7 paradoxes I face in retrospectives and how I try to address them.

1. Le piège du “parler sans agir” ou espace de décompression ?

Je me trouve face à un premier paradoxe : Comment faire de la rétrospective un moment d’action immédiate pour satisfaire mon besoin de mouvement, sans ignorer le besoin de décompression de l’équipe ?

As a coach, until 2017, I saw retrospectives as moments when teams took the time to reconnect, to exchange ideas at the end of the sprint in a relaxed way. It was a space where we could breathe and simply be together—not just to solve problems, but to reconnect with one another. But since Covid, something has changed. Human connection, this collective breath, seems to have disappeared, replaced by a series of discussions focused solely on immediate action.

There is no longer that time for collective work, where the team was connected by a shared objective, that feeling of being together to reinvent how we work. Perhaps Agile has lost its dream, or maybe I have lost my sparkle as a coach.

But how can we make these moments useful?

Proposed actions:

  • Be clear on the retrospective’s intent: to improve our performance
  • Stay focused on the objective

Learn more about the retrospective to implement continuous improvement:

retro

Rétrospective Agile le guideRétrospective agile, le guide Déroulement de la rétrospective en 6 étapes 1.Introduction (10 minutes) 2. Réflexion sur les événements récents (20 minutes) Matrice Pluie et Rayons 3.Analyse approfondie : les …

What if, instead of seeing the retrospective as just a tool for action, we considered it a decompression space? A moment when time stops, where the team can breathe and put words to emotions that are often left unspoken. Sometimes, in these moments of rest, each person feels safe to share their struggles in the face of a rigid system or burdensome processes. Here, the goal is not always to produce immediate actions but to create a space where it’s finally possible to say, “I am struggling.”

Proposed actions:

Create a safe space: Allow each person to express their frustrations or fears without expecting immediate solutions. This moment of sharing releases tension and strengthens the team’s cohesion.

Catch your breath: Use the retrospective to mark a pause, where the team can acknowledge its challenges with the system before trying to solve them. This can include a simple discussion or relaxation techniques to regain clarity of mind.

Reflecting on my agile coaching journey, I would say:

“Before 2017, retrospectives were for me the perfect opportunity to give teams this breathing space. But today, this time seems to have disappeared. Remote work has erased informal moments, those times when we were just there, together, sharing something other than a backlog. Perhaps the retrospective’s purpose has become a safe space, where each team member can say ‘I’m struggling’ in the face of an overwhelming system… The team can feel connected again, despite the distances, in this space for dialogue.”

The suggested action then would be:

Rebuild the lost connection: Introduce more informal moments in your retrospectives, where the goal is to reconnect, to reinvent how to work together, away from technical or methodological demands.

2. Time: an invisible enemy or a chance to slow down?

Paradox 2: How can we make the retrospective a moment to move forward together without being caught in a race against the clock?

ime is a rare resource, and retrospectives often suffer because teams move too quickly to give them the space they deserve. Without enough time to focus on agreed actions, the retrospective becomes a list of forgotten or ignored tasks. Prioritizing the most important topics can give these moments meaning again.

When the need is urgent, focus on the most impactful priorities by keeping things simple and direct.

Proposed actions:

  • Identify the 2 or 3 critical issues to maintain an immediate impact and avoid dispersion.
  • Follow these actions regularly, setting precise follow-up steps for each retrospective.

What if the pressure of time became an ally rather than an enemy? What would happen if retrospectives were a protected space, allowing teams to slow down? Rather than rushing toward solutions, the team could use this time to breathe and reflect on their journey. Retrospectives would become a moment to reconnect and readjust.

Slowing down to refocus (first step of the RESTE approach):
The retrospective becomes a space for slowing down, allowing the team to recentre and observe team dynamics.

Dedicate part of the retrospective to an open exchange where each member shares what motivates them, what drains them, and what they would like to see change.

Together, discuss long-term priorities and actions: “Which priorities resonate most with each of us?” or “Which actions will truly make a difference in the long term?”

3.Transparency: The Great Absentee or a Moment for Open Dialogue?

Here, the question is: How can we create a space for transparency without turning the retrospective into a controlled information-sharing exercise?

A lack of transparency hinders problem-solving and can erode trust. When transparency is missing, teams struggle to make fair decisions. Without full visibility, effectively resolving issues becomes difficult. Restoring transparency within the team—and beyond—is essential for unlocking progress.

Proposed Actions:

  • Enhance Transparency: Share key decisions and information openly with the entire team. Use regular updates or “all-hands” meetings to keep everyone informed.
  • Involve More People in Decision-Making: Bring more voices into the process to enrich perspectives and foster collective buy-in for improvement.

Transparency is crucial, but retrospectives can sometimes be more than just an information-sharing platform. They can become a space for genuine dialogue, where the team doesn’t merely exchange updates but engages in honest conversations about what’s really happening. It’s an opportunity to openly discuss challenges, concerns, or even fears—topics that don’t always find expression in other meetings.

Proposed Actions:

  • Encourage Honest Conversations: Use retrospectives to promote openness about the difficulties the team faces, both in projects and in team dynamics.
  • Broaden the Definition of Transparency: Go beyond the sharing of information and create a space for deeper conversations about challenges, uncertainties, and the emotional aspects of work.

4. Working in silos or purposeful Collaboration?

Dilemma 4: How do we break down silos to foster collaboration, while ensuring that this collaboration genuinely brings meaning and connection?

Working in silos is one of the biggest barriers to successful agility. When teams operate in isolation, their efforts often overlap, leading to inefficiencies. Breaking down silos requires intentional actions to encourage collaboration.

Proposed Actions:

  1. Break down silos: Promote cross-team collaboration through workshops or inter-team synchronization sessions to share learnings and reduce duplicated efforts.
  2. Align at a broader level: Use retrospectives to discuss coordination between teams and identify areas where alignment can be improved.

Beyond breaking down silos, retrospectives can become a space for genuine collaboration, where the team comes together not only to align on tasks but to discover new ways of working more meaningfully together. This collaboration can shift the focus from productivity to reconnecting as a team.

Proposed Actions:

  1. Encourage deep collaboration: Use retrospectives to explore ways of working together that are more connected and fulfilling, with an emphasis on mutual support.
  2. Create meaningful interactions: Shift the retrospective focus toward building team rapport and emotional alignment, rather than simply solving technical issues.

5.Collective denial or a space to face hard truths?

Paradox 5: How do we make the retrospective a place where we don’t avoid real issues, without it becoming a burden for the team?

It’s tempting to bypass deep-rooted systemic problems in favor of easier, superficial solutions.

However, to make genuine progress, teams need to ask the difficult questions and dig into the underlying causes of their challenges.

Proposed Actions:

  • Ask the tough questions: Encourage the team to dive deeper into the true causes of their issues, using tools like the “5 Whys” to get to the root of problems.
  • Emphasize the Importance of Retrospectives: Remind the team that retrospectives are not just moments for discussion; they are opportunities to drive real change.

To know more about the art of questionning :

questionnement game coachingCoaching questioning is used by the coach to support his client or the coached team in finding the resources he will need to resolve his problem. FacebookTweetPinLinkedIn

Sometimes, the most important role of a retrospective is to create a space where the team feels secure enough to face uncomfortable truths. It gives people the permission to confront the deeper issues affecting their work without fear of judgment.

Proposed Actions:

  • Build trust to face hard truths: Use the retrospective to foster an environment where the team feels comfortable addressing systemic issues.
  • Normalize vulnerability: Encourage open discussions where it’s acceptable to admit when things aren’t working. This builds trust and lays the groundwork for real change.

6.General exhaustion or an opportunity to reignite inspiration?

How do we prevent the retrospective from becoming a tiring routine and instead make it a space that rekindles motivation and creativity?

When retrospectives lead to no visible change, team members may grow weary and start viewing these moments as empty rituals. It’s essential to reignite the team’s motivation by showing that small victories can lead to big changes.

Proposed Actions:

  • Reignite motivation: Celebrate even the smallest wins to show the team that change is possible.
  • Focus on achievable goals: Limit each retrospective to the most important issues so that actions are feasible and have visible impact.

Au-delà de la prévention de l’épuisement, les rétrospectives peuvent être des espaces d’inspiration, où l’équipe redécouvre son sens et rallume sa créativité. Lorsque la routine quotidienne devient écrasante, les rétrospectives offrent une opportunité de prendre du recul et de réfléchir non seulement à ce qui ne va pas, mais aussi à pourquoi l’équipe est là. C’est un moment pour se réaligner avec la mission de l’équipe et explorer de nouvelles façons créatives d’aborder les défis.

Actions proposées :

  1. Refocaliser sur le sens : Utilisez une partie de la rétrospective pour revenir sur les objectifs et la mission de l’équipe. Posez des questions telles que « Pourquoi faisons-nous ce travail ? » et « Comment cela s’aligne-t-il avec notre mission globale ? ». Cela peut raviver la motivation de l’équipe et lui redonner un sentiment de sens.
  2. Encourager la créativité dans la résolution de problèmes : Transformez les rétrospectives en sessions de génération d’idées, où l’équipe est libre de proposer des solutions non conventionnelles à ses défis. Créez un espace sûr où même les idées les plus farfelues sont les bienvenues et célébrées.

7.Transforming company culture toward continuous improvement: a human and actionable approach

How do we make the retrospective a moment of real action for company culture without crystallizing change?

Creating an environment that supports innovation, collaboration, and transparency is essential for successful retrospectives. Without leadership commitment and a culture that values continuous improvement, even the most well-intentioned efforts will fall short. Culture must encourage psychological safety, allowing employees to voice challenges and propose creative solutions without fear of failure.

Proposed Actions:

  • Organize improvement sharing events: Hold regular (virtual or in-person) events where teams present their improvements. This can be a company-wide initiative that emphasizes learning from both successes and failures.
  • Establish a reward system: Recognize and celebrate teams that achieve significant improvements. Awards for innovation, efficiency, or customer satisfaction can motivate and strengthen a positive culture around continuous improvement.
  • Create a continuous improvement roadmap: Align team goals with the company’s broader objectives, such as cost reduction, increased customer satisfaction, or product innovation. This ensures that every improvement effort contributes to the company’s success.

In a previous experience, organizing an international tour where teams presented their improvements helped build a culture of continuous improvement. This event celebrated successes, encouraged cross-team collaboration, and rewarded impactful contributions. Such initiatives inspire and reinforce the message that every improvement, no matter how small, has value.

While concrete steps are necessary, true cultural transformation requires creating an environment where teams feel safe to experiment and even fail. Retrospectives can be a space not only to identify issues but to celebrate learning, including learning that comes from failure. By encouraging teams to value failure as an opportunity for growth, companies can foster a culture of continuous improvement driven not by fear of failure but by a sincere desire to evolve.

Proposed Actions:

  • Encourage a Culture That Values Failure: Promote the idea that failure is a natural part of innovation. In retrospectives, take time to discuss what didn’t work and how these experiences led to better strategies or new approaches.
  • Empower Teams Through Learning: Offer training on continuous improvement methodologies (Lean, Agile, Kaizen) and encourage employees to take ownership of their improvement ideas. This strengthens their long-term commitment to the company’s transformation.

Will this shift a system? Perhaps not… But it’s a way to regain control when, like me, you’re turning into a grumpy bear, ready to stop everything from moving forward. It’s a means to be a bit more reflective in our actions.

What I am certain of, and as I expressed in my book Manager Autrement while gradually developing a RESTE Approach, is that the first step, R for “Ralentir” (Slowing Down), is invaluable for facing the paradox of time.

Slowing down becomes a key to prevent the team from getting lost in a race against the clock. This space allows an escape from the frantic pace of work cycles and lays the groundwork for reflection that goes beyond simple problem-solving.

Am I ready to apply this approach to myself to break free from frustration and, as a coach, bring the necessary energy to drive change? Time will tell…

And you? What do you think?

The RESTE Approach is an acronym for Ralentir (Slow Down) – Écouter (Listen) – Soutenir (Support) – Transmettre (Transmit) – Évoluer (Evolve). It’s a way to balance one’s heritage, journey, and find equilibrium.
RESTE

RESTE is an approach that unfolds across three focuses:

  • Individual Focus: Change is an illusion. To become self-starting, it’s first a personal choice to take action, to move out of inaction. This is a conscious decision that fuels internal motivation and opens a path to self-discovery. This enlightened path can inspire others through mimicry, positioning the trailblazer as a guide, a master choreographer, or conductor. A coach!
  • Team Focus: It’s the collective decision to create something that transcends us. A guide, master choreographer, composer, or “Propeller” leads the team to push beyond limits, helping each member individually to discover their full potential.
  • Organizational Focus: Moving away from the principle of precaution and opening new pathways is the result of collective movement driven by adopting a CID mindset—Courage, Intuition, Challenge, and Common Sense.

Summary for the time-pressed: how to make the most of each retrospective?

ParadoxChoice / Dilemma (Accordion)Paradox RegisterChecklist Specific to the Paradox Register
1. The Trap of “Talking Without Acting”Choosing between making the retrospective a space for action or a space for decompressing and catching a breath.Immediate Action vs. Rest / ReflectionImmediate Action: Identify concrete, achievable actions assigned to specific individuals with clear deadlines.
Rest / Reflection: Create a safe space to decompress, allowing the team to express their challenges.
2. Time as an Invisible EnemyChoosing between prioritizing urgent actions or slowing down to give the team time to refocus and reflect.Urgency vs. Long-Term ReflectionUrgency: Prioritize critical issues to be resolved immediately.
Long-Term Reflection: Take time to review priorities, adjust deadlines, and allow the team to refocus.
3. Transparency as the Missing ElementChoosing between encouraging full transparency or creating a space for open and sincere dialogue beyond mere sharing.Transparency vs. Deep DialogueTransparency: Share decisions and important information with the whole team.
Deep Dialogue: Encourage genuine exchanges, beyond mere information sharing, to address real challenges.
4. Working in Silos: A Barrier to EfficiencyChoosing between breaking down silos for immediate collaboration or exploring ways to create more meaningful human connections.Technical vs. Human CollaborationTechnical Collaboration: Address silos and redundancies to improve organizational efficiency.
Human Collaboration: Foster deeper, more meaningful collaborations between teams.
5. Collective Denial: Avoiding Real ProblemsChoosing between asking tough questions to confront real issues or creating a safe space to explore uncomfortable truths.Direct Confrontation vs. Emotional SafetyDirect Confrontation: Pose difficult questions and use techniques like the “5 Whys” to get to the root of issues.
Emotional Safety: Create a secure environment where the team feels comfortable expressing fears and challenges.
6. General ExhaustionChoosing between reigniting motivation through small wins or inspiring the team by discussing their mission and reconnecting to purpose.Immediate Rewards vs. Deep MeaningImmediate Rewards: Celebrate small victories to maintain the team’s motivation and energy.
Deep Meaning: Reconnect the team to its mission and deeper purpose to bring meaning to collective work.
7. Transforming Company CultureChoosing between transforming the continuous improvement culture through concrete actions or creating a space for deep learning and experimentation.Superficial Change vs. Deep TransformationSuperficial Change: Implement concrete actions such as sharing events or reward systems.
Deep Transformation: Create an environment conducive to continuous learning and experimentation, where failure is seen as an opportunity for growth.
Step: Each step corresponds to a section of the guide,
Choice / Dilemma (Accordion): The dilemma faced by the team/coach at each stage,
Paradox Register: The paradox register addressed by this stage. Each choice opposes two poles: an approach focused on immediate action or an approach that invites a broader reflection.
Checklist Specific to the Paradox Register: This column suggests concrete actions to undertake based on the chosen register.